All of the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you..
Two words: adversity and change.
Why is it that most of society find themselves so adverse to change? In my own experience, changes intruded my life and found a way to ruin plans I worked very hard for. I have been told on numerous accounts, “life happens when you’re busy making plans”. Well, I say- Fuck that mantra! Planning in my experience is not a task to be neglected. It allows one to sculpt a structure in which they can utilize in an instance where chaos decides to rear its’ nasty head.
Almost immediately after my initial diagnosis, my life significantly shifted. I underwent a marathon of repeated trips to various eye specialists in the Los Angeles area. In all actuality, I am still in limbo with my efforts to overcome the complications Glaucoma hastily throws my way. There is not much my big blue eyeballs haven’t seen or physically felt. I call it: Eyeball Molestation. From ultrasounds to a series of five iredectomy’s (laser eye procedure that literally burns a hole into the iris to allow fluid to be released and eye pressure to be relieved). As luck would have it, the attempts at containing my cursed eyes are thoroughly unsuccessful. In December, my doctor made the call to send me under the knife! The purpose of the surgery was to create a drain so that fluid would have an escape and pressures could be brought down to a normal level. The surgery went well and exceeded the expectations of my doctor. I was not in much pain, but obviously being a hypochondriac I felt overly sensitive whenever there was discomfort in the left eye. Thank God we were all in unanimous agreement to do ONE eye at a time. With one of the risks being acute blindness, I was not about to test my glorious luck.
Through the recovery period I felt crazed. I had limited vision, and was ordered to “take it easy”. Which translated to no exercise, no working, and limited driving. The thought of not working to some may sound like answered prayers, but for me, it meant being unproductive and financially restricted. I am no boujie bitch, but I have financial commitments to adhere to. This financial crutch then led to friends and family stepping in to help, which torments me to no end. My number one peeve is feeling like a charity case. And so that led me to become creative in searching for a way to accrue some bucks. If you’re jumping to conclusions, get that mind out of the gutter. A semi-blind stripper just isn’t hot. I decided to become a nanny. Ironic that I went from a scientific field to babysitting. But, I suppose it is related since kids are basically monkeys. However, I much prefer primates to 13 year old girls, I learned REAL quick that 13 year old girls are satanic. Seriously, it was like dealing with a dog infected with rabies. I did not know what kind of shift I was in for. Hormones. Yikes. Funny thing is, I was so thrilled to have the job and to finally have a purpose that I took the abuse with open arms, not to mention $20/hr.
Sadly, two days ago, my eyes took a turn for the worst (again). I graduated from closed angle glaucoma to malignant glaucoma.
to be continued -theblindgem